I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have ideas." -Joseph Stalin
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” -Douglas Adams
While the word is yet unspoken, you are master of it; when once it is spoken, it is master of you. -Arab proverb
What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy? - Gandhi
“Life must be lived forward, but can only be understood backward”.
- Sören Kierkegaard
A great novelist is essentially tolerant, that is, displays a real apprehension of persons other than the author as having a right to exist and to have a separate mode of being which is important and interesting to themselves. -Iris Murdoch
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he’s dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Two trucks loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to the Associated Press.
Witnesses were aghast, amazed, astonished, astounded, bemused, benumbed, bewildered, confounded, confused, dazed, dazzled, disconcerted, disoriented, dumbstruck, electrified, flabbergasted, horrified, immobilized, incredulous, nonplussed, overwhelmed, paralysed, perplexed, scared, shocked, startled, stunned, stupefied, surprised, taken aback, traumatized, upset. . . .
Voted the best joke:
sherlock Holmes and dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson said: "I see millions and millions of stars."
holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are million of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."
videos: In the Jungle Evolution of Dance Aliensong Incredible Machines We All stand Together
Creature Comforts (one of the many) Muppet fever Microcosmos Torn (mimed)
Poisoning Pigeons in the Park Bobby McFerrin and the pentatonic scale