Regular pre-match wait
First game….away to Hengelo….average number of players eager to face a long journey to the north-east in recent years? Eight point 5. Astoundingly, no less than twelve players were expected for the pre-match wait! Question was – who would be last to arrive? It will be no surprise for regular readers to learn that it was Frank! However, it must be said that he entered the HTC canteen only ten minutes later than agreed, and as Robert Hall wryly commented, "if that’s the standard he wants to keep for the rest of the year, then I for one will be happy!"
The assembled team of 12 then headed for the car park, Fred Buijs still suffering from over-exuberant celebrations which followed his and Neil’s sons becoming champions of their football competition the previous day. Quite why Fred had lost his voice, bearing in mind he had barely spoken a word during the match was a mystery, until insider information made it clear that this had more to do with the after-match celebrations which went on well into the night in the local hostelry. Whether Fred carried Joost home, or the other way round, will remain a closed debate between father and son.
Talk on the way to the match, some two hours drive away, centered around two key topics of conversation: 1 – would Dean captain the side during his swansong period with Son before going back to OZ, and 2 – memories of the previous away match with Hengelo and "that" run out. For those of a nervous disposition I suggest you move to the next chapter of this report and do not read the following extract of the match report from last year……
"It was the last ball of the Son innings and Remco took strike. The ball is outside off stump, and he slashes, getting a thick outside edge through the vacant slips cordon. He sets off for an easy single only to look up and see Norman leaning on his bat at the non-strikers end. Norman was on 34 not out and had no intention of potentially scuppering his average with a not-so-risky single off the last ball. His average remained intact and Remco (displaying the kind of turning circle you normally associate with an aircraft carrier) was caught well short.
If Remco was unhappy, Hall was downright livid, suggesting that his longtime associate be suspended for the remainder of the year. Norman however, was typically defiant. "It’s a learning experience Remco" were the only words of comfort offered.
Other words (not all attributable to Norman) used were shameful, selfish, what you’d expect from a German and Boycottesque."
In "honour" of this event, Dean has now inaugurated the "Norm Leighton Memorial Trophy", given to the player who performs the most despicable act of the season.
With the decision that Dean would indeed captain the side, it was rather sickening to hear that sleazy Robert Hall had already picked him up from home and drove all the way to Hengelo with his hand resting on Dean’s thigh! (According to my spy – not mentioning any names, but he does a great job in cracking safes!)
SON BATTING INNINGS
We had broken a record already! We arrived at the ground an hour early and before the opposition!
Dean won the toss and elected to bat.
Simon was looking worried. Not at the prospect of batting at number three, but due to a rather delicate situation which had not yet been resolved! Back on the last tour, Peter Browning – for reasons he can best explain when children are not present – disappeared with Simon’s jock strap! The afore-mentioned article had nevertheless been tracked down and was to be transferred from Peter Browning, through the capable hands of Robert Hall and then on to Mr. Brunnen upon arrival in Hengelo. The debonair Hall of course tried to pretend he had forgotten the offending piece of equipment, but Simon was not fooled and duly took delivery of his favourite toy.
Suspecting that Hengelo would not have a strong bowling side, Dean decided to leave the bowlers to the end of the innings (himself, Hall and Saadat) and give the "youngsters" and occasional batsmen a chance to shine higher in the innings. Which is clearly why Lee opened the batting! Entering into the spirit of letting others get a chance of improving their averages, Neil also volunteered for the 12th man spot.
We were quickly wondering if Dean’s plan was going to work! First, Lee decided to give first slip catching practice by spooning up a catch from a slow, wide longhop! Remco, having played very solidly, then forgot he was playing cricket and took a baseball-type swipe at a full toss and then looked around to see only two of the three stumps still standing! Simon (20) and Frank (18 including a glorious six over square leg!) then brought some substance to the innings, until Simon, having hit some excellent drives, decided enough was enough and produced a horrendous shot which earned him the accolade of "out exhausted."
This brought our youngsters and others into the firing line. Fred survived a loud appeal for caught behind thanks both to him not understanding that this is actually a way of getting out, secondly some very understanding gentlemen in the Hengelo side and three Dean’s umpiring. Clearly you do not have to have very good hearing to be allowed back into Australia these days! Joost, who had again been duped into playing a "local" away match and who was also suffering from the previous nights celebrations, failed to trouble the scorers as did Francois, which then brought 13 year old Michael Bird onto the pitch for his first ever innings. Having skillfully played back the first few deliveries, Michael was undone by a ball down the leg-side and a smart stumping as he just failed to get his foot completely over the line…..not the friendliest of actions from the keeper, but should not be taken away from the fact that Hengelo played the whole game, just as Son in the true spirit of the game.
What was the result of this carnage! Son had slumped to 62 for 8 after 23 overs! However with Hall (16) and Adams (38 not out) at the wicket, order was restored with a fifty partnership. As Hall left the wicket following a superb catch by File, and calls from Dean of "you would have scored more if you hadn’t been protecting your average!" Saadat came to the wicket as last man. Nothing extraordinary about that you might think, until one of the more observant Hengelo players asked him if it really was his intention to play without gloves! Exit Saadat to the pavilion to fetch gloves! Not that this made much of a difference as he was soon given plum LBW by Lee (who was later hit mid stump from long leg!)
Son 118 all out
HENGELO INNINGS
Clearly the barracking about going out to bat without gloves had an effect on Saadat’s bowling! After four overs of pinpoint accuracy he had conceded just one run and no wides!
At this stage, your intrepid reporter had to leave the field of battle to collect his eldest son from a "LAN-Party" for techno-game nerds in Hardenberg (he was of course not amused – Robert the offending son, having earlier said that this would not be necessary as the party was near Utrecht!) The following comments are then from so-called "reliable" (?) sources!
Hengelo 65 all out
Bowling figures:
Saadat 1 for 8 off 7 overs and 3 maidens
Dean 0 for 6 off 5 and 2 maidens
Lee 2 for 19 from 6 overs
Hall 3 for 14 from 7 overs
Frank 2 for 2 from 3 overs and 2 maidens! (and with his dodgy back!)
Joost 0 for 4 from 1
Francois 0 for 8 (all wides!)
And finally Michael Bird in his debut match for Son taking his first wicket with figures of 1 for 3 from 0.4 overs!
Champagne Moment:
There were two contenders for the Champagne Moment:
But there can only be one winner and this week it goes to 13 year-old Michael Bird for his first ever wicket in competition cricket – well done! (So what if he is my son!)
Norman Leighton Memorial Trophy moment:
Neil - for not being present to see his son take his first wicket in cricket, as he was fetching his eldest son from a nerd gathering. (Note from Neil – his eldest son has been grounded!)
Man of the Match:
OK, his bowling and fielding were not up to the usual standard, but his batting surely was. Dean gets this for his commanding 38 not out and inspired bowling changes!
Special Mention:
The barman at Hengelo……anybody remember Benny Hill? If so, you secret is safe with us!
Your intrepid match reporter…..Neil Bird