SON VERSUS HENGELO II – (COMPETITION) – 11th AUGUST 2002
This time it was Robert Hall’s turn to wait 45 minutes for a player who had no intention of playing. It is good to see that, even in Frank’s absence, we have the ability to consistently bollocks up the simplest of communicative tasks. Although selected in the side, Simon was not intending to play. Normally when a player states "I am not playing this week" at training on the preceding Wednesday, it is enough to guarantee omission, but being Holland, you probably need to fill out a form. The terms ‘in a pub’, ‘piss-up’, ‘organize a’, and ‘couldn’t’ spring readily to mind.
Nonetheless, Fred roped young Joost in as a substitute, but didn’t tell him where we were playing until we’d hit the road. "Hengelo?" was his regretful reaction when told where we were going.
We arrived in Hengelo to find the ground drenched. It’d rained all day Saturday and most of Saturday night. The grass was also pretty long so the outfield would be slow and runs hard to come by.
SON BATTING INNINGS
Robert lost the toss and for the second week running, Son were put in. The wet ball, slow outfield and high humidity would make batting unpleasant, but Hill and Wynn got the visitors off to another good start. They put on 21 for the first wicket before Michael ballooned one back to Patil on 12. Hill and Adams then produced the biggest partnership of the match, adding 55 before Hill was bowled for 22. Grantham came in at 4 and it was obvious from the beginning he was in a hurry. He flashed at the first ball he faced which was edged through 2nd slip for a single. He then produced a number of heavy blows, thick edges and near misses. The 4 he hit straight down the ground off File, having just copped one in the "inner thigh region" was the highlight. He was eventually bowled by Kruysshoop for 9 looking very much like a man with a bus to catch.
Grantham’s departure brought Herr Leighton to the crease. A lot has been written about Norman in previous match reports. Some of it, it has to be said, a little bit over the top and at times, slightly unfair. In this case, to say that his undignified behavior on the last ball of the Son innings was a disgrace to cricket and an affront to human kind is perhaps not stating the point strongly enough. For more information, see Spumante Moment.
Adams and Leighton had put on only 4 when Adams got the kind of ball that only good batmen get any bat on. He was bowled neck and crop for 42. Hall made 13 before being bowled by Kruysshoop. Leighton had managed to keep the scoreboard ticking over with a couple of 4s and the third best 6 of the innings, so a score in the region of 150 was looking possible. Van der Laar joined him with only a couple of overs remaining and didn’t take long to get in on the act. Having survived a dropped catch in the 39th over, Remco swept the second ball of the 40th over the deep backward square leg boundary to record his maiden 6. It was a fantastic shot and probably the highlight of Son’s innings. The lowlight was to follow only 4balls later.
Son ended up 149 for 6. This would certainly take some chasing, as although the outfield had quickened, conditions for batting were still difficult.
SON BOWLING INNINGS
‘Mushrooms’ Hill opened the bowling with a splendid interpretation of H.Bijl, the Hercules opening bowler from the previous week. He bowled 7 wides in his 1st over and went for 23 off his first 4. In this case, the terms ‘rubbish’ and ‘absolute f***ing’ spring readily to mind. Mercifully he was removed from the attach amidst fears that the umpire may actually take flight. Thankfully his calamitous opening spell deflected attention away from Adams who was having problems controlling his swing from the other end – at times endangering Hall at second slip.
There was an early run-out completed by Grantham and the other opener was removed by a good catch from Wynn. This brought Payne and Patil together and for a long period it looked as though Son would struggle to separate them. Adams was removed from the attack having finally sobered up and the Dad’s Army combination of Hall and Leighton were brought on. Leighton’s tempting flight proved too much for Patil to resist and he was bowled trying to give one a ride to long on. Payne followed in similar fashion four overs later and at 4 down, Hengelo had little batting to come. Hall collected three middle order scalps with some good line and Grantham capped a handy debut with 2 wickets and a good catch.
Hengelo II all out for 91. It was a good team performance, although not everybody got a bat or bowl. Hopefully next week against Quick we can juggle the batting and bowling a bit more so that blokes who haven’t much of a go in the last 2 weeks can get a hit or a trundle.
The end of the Hengelo innings saw probably the most intense example of physical exertion the game had seen. At the fall of the last wicket, Leighton fairly sprinted from the field, refusing to shake hands with teammates or opponents, knocking over pensioners and small kiddies. Was he catching the same bus as Andy? Was he determined to be the first one to get the beers in? Were the riggers of an afternoon in the field proving too much for an aging bladder? No, he wanted to see his bowling figures. He probably also wanted to make sure that they were added up correctly and that any run outs were attributed as wickets to bowler number 4.
The game was played in a very good spirit and the hospitality laid on by the Hengelo club was first rate. Once again, Son proved that we are the most difficult team in the league to get rid of when you’re trying to close the bar.
Champagne Moment:
As always, there were many contenders for the Champagne Moment:
But there can only be one winner and this week it goes to Remco for a magnificently struck six. Congratulations!!!
Spumante Moment:
In was the last ball of the Son innings and Remco took strike. The ball is outside off stump, and he slashs, getting a thick outside edge through the vacant slips cordon. He sets off for an easy single only to look up and see Norman leaning on his bat at the non-strikers end. Norman was on 34 not out and had no intention of potentially scuppering his average with a not-so-risky single off the last ball. His average remained intact and Remco (displaying the kind of turning circle you normally associate with an aircraft carrier) was caught well short.
If Remco was unhappy, Hall was downright livid, suggesting that his longtime associate be suspended for the remainder of the year. Norman however, was typically defiant. "It’s a learning experience Remco" were the only words of comfort offered.
Other words (not all attributable to Norman) used were shameful, selfish, what you’d expect from a German and Boycottesque. The question remains, will Norman be able to maintain his season average of 95 when Son take the field against Quick in the last game of the year next week. Run-outs and dodgy umpiring decisions are not uncommon at this level.
Man of the Match:
As painful as it is for me to say, this weeks Man of the Match award goes to Norman Leighton. His unbeaten 34 and 3 important wickets (surprisingly, none of them were bunnies this week) for 19 of his 9 overs were the best individual returns of the match and despite the controversy, it was a very good performance.
This is not a fair play award of course and it doesn’t guarantee immunity against disciplinary action.
Special Mention:
Special Mention this week has to go to Neil Bird. Thanks to an anonymous source, we were lucky enough to learn the following remarkable facts about the life and times of the Big Bird:
Did you know: